Itchy, Itchy and Really B!tchy!
September 23rd, 2008 Posted by Chanya
For the past few weeks I’ve been itching like nobody’s business. Everywhere. My arms, legs, back, neck, and shoulders itch. I itch between my fingers. The bottoms of my feet even itch.
I started with my family doctor who put my on some drugs that I’m sure would fetch enough money on the streets to allow me to make a car payment. Honestly. Those drugs were . . . impressive. I had to stay away from work one day because I was so incredibly . . . impressed. On the upside it took care of the itching. Oh yes, the itching took one look at those small green pills and ran for the hills. And while drugged I was able to compose what I believe is the next musical masterpiece. And film a music video in my kitchen. But since I have to make a living I had to kick the pills to the side and join the real world. After about 48 hours the itching returned.
So my doctor sent me to an allergy specialist. Has anyone ever endured a series of “scratch” tests? If you haven’t, let me tell you what it entails:
Test #1: they injected 98 different indoor and outdoor environmental allergens in my back. Wait, they first drew a friggin’ grid onto my back and then started the injections. They then injected 34 allergens into my arm. Why? Because I scored low for 34 different allergens. They re-injected them into my arm because they wanted to “be sure” I wasn’t allergic to them. Folks, this hurts like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve never had a tattoo but I can’t imagine it’s more painful. This occurred yesterday, Monday Sept. 22nd.
Verdict? I’m extremely allergic to grasses and oak trees. I’m slightly allergic to dust mites. On to the next test.
Test #2: they injected 91 different food allergens into my back. This occurred TODAY, Tuesday Sept. 23rd.
Verdict? No food allergens. Hello? Didn’t they look at my weight? Who would think I was allergic to any type of food?
Test #3: oh yes, there’s more. After today’s food testing they decided to test me for chemicals. So I’m now sitting in my bed with 3 long patches taped to my back that contain all sorts of chemicals found in dyes, laundry detergents, dry cleaning solvents, and cosmetics. I can barely move because I can’t disturb the patches. I can’t lift my arms, swing my shoulders, or bend over. I’m Zombie Woman. And I have to do this for the next 2 days. The doctor said that at some point I’ll start itching on my back but I can’t scratch it. Great.
Because I haven’t been able to take any antihistamenes for the past 10 days I’m itching like crazy. I’m Crazy Zombie Woman. I’m Crazy Cranky Twittering Zombie Woman. I’m serious. You can’t imagine how irritable I am right now. I’m guessing the extreme itching would make a good defense for assault. I can hear it now:
“I’m sorry Your Honor but I’d been injected with 223 different allergens in 24 hours and had 3 large chemical patches on my back. And that Jehovah’s Witness just wouldn’t go away.”
I could represent myself and never do a day of jail time.
Hmmn, the doctor didn’t say anything about consuming massive quantities of alcohol. Sounds like a plan.
Oh, I gotta’ go now. My doorbell’s ringing. 
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 at 7:34 pm and is filed under random musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Chanya,
I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. As they say (and don’t ask me who “they” are) “no fun.”
Lots of blogging today about pain. I blogged about it, and so did 3 others. Must be something to bring it all out now.
I hope they get to the bottom of your problem very soon. In the meantime, go back on the meds. At least you were having a bit of “fun.”
Rita
Rita: Thanks so much for the kind words. I plan to take a “happy pill” as soon as I get home from the doctor’s office tomorrow.
And again, thanks for sharing your story.
Chanya, that sounds so terrible. I think the patch tests sound worse then the ailment. Also itching on the bottom of your feet is terrible, I’ve had that and scratching doesn’t seem to help it. Maybe you don’t have a mystery allergy but instead were exposed to something or something in your house. Fiberglass insulation from an oven door or attic or heating duct. I’ve heard bedbugs are making a resurgence to the US and their is also another highly contagious bug called scabies, you may want to read up on. Good Luck figuring this out and in the mean time have a drink for me, since I’m on a diet, and have cut out alcohol for awhile.
Emma
Emma:
They checked for scabies and told me that I don’t have that however I was also wondering if I might have been exposed to something. If the chemical patch tests don’t show anything then I’m not sure what the doctor will do.
I could kiss the person that invented Wine in a Box.