Short Story Sunday: With This Widget, I Thee Wed
August 26th, 2007 Posted by Chanya
“Are you nervous?”
“A little. Oops! It dropped off again. Why does it keep doing that?”
“It’s called float drop. It happens when the combined width of your sidebar-wrapper and your main-wrapper exceeds the width of your header-wrapper.”
“Hello, English please!
"It keeps dropping because either your sidebar or your main body is too wide.”
“Too wide? Are you saying I look fat?”
“No, no, here, let me fix it. I’ll decrease the width of the sidebar. There you go. By the way, I love your template; the white and cream background with the mauve text really works.”
“Well, I couldn’t very well go with all white, could I? I mean, honestly, I have been around.”
“Don’t I know it. Oh, heads-up, here comes your Mother.”
“Hey Mom! You look great!”
“Thanks sweetie. Um, dear, could I speak with you for a moment? I need to give you a few words of advice before the event.”
“Sure.”
“Now dear, do you remember when I told you about template mergers and how they can be scary at first, especially for a young blog like yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I want you to know that you don’t need to worry about a thing. Your fiance’s got a solid design and will undoubtedly be gentle with you during your first time.”
“Uh huh.”
“Although I must warn you dear - he’s Wordpress and you’re Blogger. Merging could cause display and posting problems. And, there’s the issue with him being 3-columns to your 2-columns. You’re also heavily leveraged with Adsense which I know he opposes. I’m not saying it won’t work, I just want you to be careful. I mean, it’s too bad you couldn’t get together with Stanley_goldfarb.blogspot.com. He’s got such potential. His Technorati ranking is 52,908, and- “
“Mom, don’t start that again. Stanley has one of the most disorganized sites in the ‘sphere. I’m happy with my choice.”
“Of course you are dear. Well, I need to scoot back to my spot. I’ll see you in a few.”
“Bye Mom.”
“Your mother is sweet. You should have seen your reaction when she made that statement about the ‘first time’ though. You turned #ff99cc girlfriend! Ha ha, if she only knew!”
“Be quiet you. Help me make sure I’ve got everything. Let’s see, I have:
| something old: | a piece of COBOL code |
| something new: | a link to the newly designed John Chow.com website |
| something borrowed: | the tag line from Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper, and |
| something blue: | a cerulean template from the Frugal Webmaster." |
“Sounds like you’re covered. Oops, they’ve started RealPlayer, gotta get in place. See you there.”“Thanks so much for your help.”
Later at The Virtual Church.“If anyone here feels these two and their communities should not be merged together please IM now or forever hold your peace.”Silence.
“Therefore by the dual-core 64-bit power vested in me I pronounce you blog and blog. You may now Digg the bride.”
Sunday, August 26th, 2007 at 10:25 am and is filed under blog humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I like your blog parodies, especially the ones about the dead blog! I’ll be visiting ofen.
Girl, you’re on a roll! Love it! I wonder if things will really be like this in the future, only with people…
Wow..how’s the captain now?..its very entertaining blog that you got here.. :p checked your profile today..and I found Radiohead rule it! Thanks for non stop giggles in me..love ur blog..
This is absolutely hee-larious! I love how you crafted the story, making it technical and funny at the same time.
Oh so creative!
I’m getting hooked to this site… it makes my day.