In a Land, Far Far Away . . .
August 11th, 2007 Posted by Chanya“Hurry, we don’t have much time.”“Do they know this last minute request will cost them more?”“Oh yes, they know. Now, are you ready dear? I have a few other stops to make tonight.”
“Sure, let’s do it.”
“All right, stand still please. Now. 1-2-3! There, all done.”
“Do you have to count?”
“It helps me concentrate, especially when I’m using a new wand.”
“Yes, I noticed it looked different.” I check my reflection in the mirror. “Very nice. Love the color. You don’t think it’s too long do you? I may need to make a fast getaway you know.”
“Trust me, it’s a perfect fit. You can’t go wrong with Vera Wang. Now, check underneath the gown.”
“Let’s see, ooh, nice! A matching gun holster. And you remembered the knives!”
“Of course, it’s what I do. Now remember, you must complete your mission by midnight.”
“I know, I know. Hand me the file.” I thumb through the contents. It was all there of course: background information, daily habits, photos of the target . . . wait. No way. “Are you serious? You can’t expect me to do this! He’s got security all over the castle.”
“Yes, but you’re the best.”
“I’m good but not that good. This is a suicide mission.”
“You’re heavily armed and- "
“That won’t be enough and you know it.”
“Calm down, I’m providing backup. Look outside,” she says, waving her wand. Four agents appear on the lawn.
“Six would be better.”
“Six would be too conspicuous, and besides, they wouldn’t fit inside the carriage.”
“This will still be tricky.”
“The agents are well trained. They’ll get you close to the target.”
“Okay. They’re attending this event you know."
"Who’s that dear?"
"Them. Mommy Dearest and her two alien offspring. For a bit more I’d do them too.”
“Stay focused.”
“Okay, okay. What’s the proof of death?”
“His ring, preferably with the finger still attached.”
“Got it. Anything else?”
“Here’s some cab fare just in case you don’t make it back in time.”
“Yeah, sorry about that last job. I know it was hard finding replacements.”
“Yes well, pumpkins were out of season at the time. But enough talking. You need to leave.”
“Right, I’m ready. Thanks again, couldn’t do it without you.”
“I know, I know. Now shoo!” She pushes me out the door. “And try not to get any blood on the gown this time!”
Saturday, August 11th, 2007 at 4:53 pm and is filed under blog humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
What a great story. Very witty!