Cooking 101: How to Kill A Blog
Posted by ChanyaI can’t cook. I say that because I’m the type of person that looks at a recipe and thinks: “hmmn, this will be much better if I add this ingredient.” Or, “ah, this will be even tastier if I add that ingredient.” By the time I’m done I’ve created a mess that my dog wouldn’t touch.As with cooking, I think there’s a standard set of principles that should be followed for creating and maintaining blogs. I’m not gonna’ front and act like I know what they are because goodness knows I’m still learning. However, I think I know a Dead Blog Walking when I see it. So, I’ve put together what I consider to be a recipe for disaster. I call it “How to Kill a Blog in 30 Days.”
 |
|
|---|---|
| 1 | heavily pixelated header graphic |
| 5 | large photos of your cats. In cat outfits. With no narrative. |
| 10 | sidebar ads |
| 6 | broken links |
| 12 | mispelled words |
| 5 | animated gif?s |
| 1 | nondescript black silhoute avatar |
| 10 | blog comments |
| 1) | Combine the header graphic, cat photos, and sidebar ads onto the page. |
| 2) | Stir in the broken links, mispelled words, and animated gifs. |
| 3) | Place the avatar on the profile page. |
| 4) | Sprinkle blog comments on 10-20 sites. Use these words: “Hello, check out my blog at http://www.123789.com/. It’s great!!” |
Now, let your blog marinate, untouched, for 30 days. Do not update your blog during this time. Do not visit other blogs or post comments. At the end of the 30 day period you’ll have yourself a lovely dead blog. Goes well with a nice chardonnay. Serves: 1 |
|
Thursday, July 19th, 2007 at 8:13 pm and is filed under blog humor, blog tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I LOVE this. I’m going to have to link to it. Soooo clever, you brilliant grrl you!
Very funny, but true.
[...] someone took my post titled “How to Kill a Blog” more seriously than I’d planned because I recently came upon a blog that I believe died under [...]
[...] a Google search for that term and found my site. They specifically found my post titled “Cooking 101: How to Kill a Blog“. However, if you Google the term “how to kill dog for cooking” (no quotes) [...]
[...] Minx offered blogging music, Chayna dogged on how to kill a blog, Michael Kwan explained how to make 6 figures as a freelancer, Jeanne got her [...]
I was wandering why my blog is not popular… thx good point!